Starting Over...Again

All my life I feel like I keep "starting over." Each time I changed schools I felt like it was a new start. Even a new school year seemed to resemble that fact for me in some way. However, this time the feeling and the meaning are totally different.

Patrick and I got married in December of 2004. That was the beginning of the end of "starting over" for me...so I thought. We were only married a couple of months when he answered the call to preach the Bible. I was so thrilled because for the longest time (and I mean since I was in tenth grade) I knew I was supposed to marry a man who preached the true Word of God. Funny how I seemed to have forgotten that in college...but the Lord brought me back to where I am supposed to be.

Patrick started a new job assignment about a month ago. He's working (still a temp) at Corning Cable Systems in Hickory but now he's on the third shift crew. This is a wonderful opportunity as it allows him to go to school locally to get his Bachelor's Degree in Biblical Studies. I am so excited for him! He's worked so hard these last few weeks to get acclimated to his new schedule and I've tried hard to let him. It's not easy being a wife, and mother, without having your husband accessible 24-7. But that's okay; the Lord is teaching me through this process too.

I, on the other hand, started my "new" job in mid February and have loved it ever since. I'm the Office Manager for an international distributor of commercial "yard equipment" (mowers and edgers for country clubs and golf courses). We have customer in North and South America while our equipment is from Australia and England. We make nothing...we are simply the middle man. It's a small company, though it's been in business for twenty-five years. It's a family-owned-and-operated company, minus me and the warehouse manager. And I love them to death! They are great people - lost - and it gives me a mission field. (Please pray for me.) And for the first time ever I can say I feel like I have found the job that I fit into well enough that I see myself staying there for years to come.

Our daughter, Brienna, is now sixteen months old. She's as independent as I am, yet has her clingy moments. I have enjoyed every minute with her and I'm excited to watch her continue growing up. However, that's where the old ends.

Ellie is on her way. We are rapidly approaching Christmas and the retail stores are a constant reminder of that as everywhere I go I see Halloween, Thanksgiving and Christmas on the same isles! How ridiculous (but that's another soap box to stand on later). I'm growing nervous - more so now than with Brienna. Why? Because not only am I going to be responsible for her needs but I'm still in charge of Brienna. If ever there was a time to redeem tickets to the "Multitasking 101" seminar - it is now! I can't say for certain that I will know when to put Breinna on hold for Ellie or visa versa. I never had a role model for that - my brother and I are twelve years apart and were practically raised as only children.

So I'm hitting the fan with thoughts and wonders about how I want things to be and how I'm scared they will end up being. I think it will be wonderful to have two daughters share the same room and grow up as each other's best friends. I'm scared that Brienna won't want to move to her big girl bed in a few weeks and when Ellie takes up residence in Brienna's "big girl room" she'll initiate Ellie into the family with nice whack upside the head. And of course that's when the trouble begins right?

Well, for now, I'm enjoying my time with the girls. Brienna likes to get in bed with me and crawl over my tummy to watch it respond. She doesn't get the fact that there is another baby in my tummy, but she knows that I refer to it as Ellie. Until she actually gets here, I think I will put the future where it belongs and leave it up to God. That way I can enjoy this new transition period of starting over...again.